emma b. says

Friday, February 11, 2005

Friday's random selection of one sided emails I've sent

*Keerist, flogging a long dead horse.
remember when you were in first grade, in my case I insisted on wearing flouncy dresses with dolphin shorts underneath, so I could swing on the bars - like a monkey! and you thought some boy or girl was cute, rather than admit that you called them funny looking.
I was really, really funny looking by the time I hit 5th grade, picture the early eighties perm, the braces, with headgear! all gangly limbs and nearly erupting chest... The boys were ruthless.*

*Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for flying Air Oscar the Grouch.*

*last night on my way to Sephora to buy ridiculously expensive mascara I was accosted by a gay, thank heavens for the gays, I hear a honeyed "honey, that hair is fabulous" a girl can run miles on a compliment like that...*

*it's unfortunate that you missed the pink elephants on parade.
go ahead and mock me for being mawkish, I care not.*

*no I just happen to be a passenger on the metaphorical train they jacked, I am running forward at the speed of inertia, I fear it is not quick enough.*

*I feel like a gyroscope*

*man, just when I think I have reached the apex of apathy the players on the cuckoo von nutsville team do something so confounding that my jaw falls open and I shake my fists helplessly at the sky... blow my nose in anguish as it were...
Korea's got nukes! remember them, the third wheel on the tricycle of evil?
and then there is Frank Rich, bless his curmudgeonly heart.*

*v. good
do you think that a consequence of Saturday may attribute to my current despondence?*

*most gorgeous sunset ever. The Farallons in perfect purple mountain silhouette, the sun a wildly flaming peach, the bay mirrored and placid like seventies sunglasses.
some day I am going to miss this view.*

*Domaine des Etats Rouges
Crepescule du Craptacular
Chateau Asshat (a fine accompaniement to ritz crackers and cheez-whiz)
Chateau L'Estaing Vos Dents Verts*

*I just read the article in NY Times about French women... made blood boil,
what a load of preposterous dookie!!! It's all in the walking, it's all in
the 7-10 espressos they drink, it's also all in the cigarettes!!! Having a
number of French girlfriends I can assure you that they fret over la graisse
just as American women. I'd like to slap that lady!*

*can't you just see it, P and I, swell in our frilled aprons and dangerous heels, pill addled, furtive martini in hands listlessly pushing a giant hoover, P. having accidentally sucked up Ava as she awaits M, the breadwinner (bwa ha ha)
I of course am a sad old spinster, a divorced pariah, possibly loose woman...*

*Introducing the Togolese, a tasty new snandwich at your local Togo's. Tasty Jerked Goat garnished with dried grasses on flat bread, comes with a side of military coup! mmmm - delicious!*


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