emma b. says

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Short Bus Rides Again

Not really, but you have to admit it sounds great, heroic. Short Bus took the big bus to work without protective headgear!

And another day begins.

Six blocks on foot from Market to Montgomery. Pass the cute bagel boys, mouth watering eau de toastiness dogs me for half a block. Pass homeless man with the cardboard headband, Lakota Sioux, he has such a tragic face, pony up a dollar, feel momentary vertiginous association with That PSA, reach for invisible gas mask. Jay walk at Sutter. Trot across Pine while fumbling in purse for badge, idley wonder if balloons drop from the ceiling if you flash it for the five thousandth time, give a curt hello to extremely creepy Dutch security guard who pronounces my name with a devastating leer. Get whisked to 46th floor, read superflous factoids of the elevator gods.

Login to computer, read NYTimes, check, send email, Sfgate, Salon, Truthout, WaPo, Gawker, Wonkette, RudePundit, in that order. Work. Work. Gossip. Work. Lunch with P, divvy lunches between new place with sushi and old place with roast chicken, regardless, broccoli is the staple.

And this afternoon while I was trading the usual banter with Z, political, euphemistic and fraught with innuendo (besting the bot filters at the Massive Bank) I mentioned the latest issue of Esquire. Actually what I said was something to the effect that I had been thumbing through and was startled to see all of the male models so pouty and lip glossed and effete to the point that I could exhale a drag off of my cigarette and bowl them over.

And he asked me why I was so angry.
I was taken aback, because he was right.
I emailed that I wasn't angry, just bemused.

But I am angry, and I have been in a righteous snit, I believe I can date it from November 3, 2004.

Here is my list in no particular order:
Cultural Blindness
Insitutionalized Poverty
Antonin Scalia
George Bush
Dick Cheney
oh the naming of names is endless
that motherfucking dickweed in Alabama who is on a witch hunt for those who have had late term abortions ostensibly to ferret out child rape.
The Sudanese Government
The beached dolphins in the Keys
Halliburton, Bechtel, et al.
I still have it in big time for Kenny Lay, who I hold personally responsible for the $500 PG&E bill I got in 1999, and if you saw the size of my postage stamp apartment, you'd think it was fucked up too.
Michael Jackson
Paris Hilton
That shameless Fred Durst, I couldn't jack off for a week after I inadvertently (OK, well not quite) saw his ode to himself and his small dick.
My inability to make a connection with a man
The Social Security Scam
Alan Greenspan
The idiot who backhoed over a stretch of Marin, the stretch that had the last bed of a particular species of flower.
Fox News
Anne Coulter, oh Jesus, how I would love to beat the everlovin' shit out of that stupid cunt, and that is not a word that I use lightly.
Walter Cronkite is on my shit list for being a turncoat, shame on his venerable gray head
Jeff Gannon

and I could go on, but I feel that my blood is starting to boil, and emitting steam from your ears is only good if your in the toon biz.


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